The Pipeline That's Been Red Since Tuesday
1 GOODIE · +1 LVL
+3 vs Dev. Nobody dares rebase. Main is an urban legend. +3 vs Dev. +3 vs DevOps.
SIDE EFFECT Canceled job. A piece of gear stayed in artifacts. 90 days. Then S3.
Required checks: 14. Passing: 0. Culture: "merge anyway, it's flaky".
Bug · play it on your turn
Required checks: 14. Passing: 0. Culture: "merge anyway, it's flaky".
Nobody dares rebase. Main is an urban legend. +3 vs Dev. +3 vs DevOps.
Drawn face up → the debug starts at once. From your hand: you can play it on your turn.
5 SP. Your velocity must be strictly higher. A tie means the bug wins.
1 goodie and +1 level. A pair takes 1 goodie, you take the rest and the levels.
Roll 1–6, you need 5 or more (shifted by your gear / role / profile, minimum 2). Refused = the ticket comes back to you and you take the hit.
+3 vs Dev — added to ITS story points.
SIDE EFFECTCanceled job. A piece of gear stayed in artifacts. 90 days. Then S3.
What you pull from the Tickets pile. Your velocity has to land strictly above their story points — and your friends will inflate them.
The Unpaid Intern
1 GOODIE · +1 LVL
"I'll put it on my GitHub — that's basically pay."
The HR Dragon
2 GOODIES · +1 LVL
"It's not a layoff, it's an opportunity."
The Crypto Bro
3 GOODIES · +1 LVL
His sword is a candlestick chart. Red, obviously.
Customer Support Karen
2 GOODIES · +1 LVL
The bob cut is a +2 magic weapon, already counted.
The Meeting That Should Have Been an Email
1 GOODIE · +1 LVL
"Just five minutes" — 47 minutes later.
The Influencer Lich
4 GOODIES · +2 LVL
Her collab with Death did 12 million views.