RGB Battlestation
KEYBOARD · MONITOR · RGB
Combo: +3. Your spreadsheet runs at 240 FPS. So do your Jira tickets.
The neighbours can see your LEDs from the ISS.
Combos (27)
Gather the right pieces of gear and the combo fires on its own, with its bonus and its name.
Terminal Monk
VIM · I USE ARCH · HOODIE
Combo: +3. No GUI. No mercy. Escape is your god.
I use Arch, btw. So does the backlog now.
Foundercore™
JARDIN CLOS · NOTION · AUDIO
Combo: +2. You raise a seed round against the slime.
The pitch deck has more HP than you.
Senior Couch
CAM OFF · HOODIE · LAPTOP
Combo: +2. Daily from bed. Camera off. Trousers: a rumour.
The stand-up is a concept. Like your deadlines.
Lord of the Pager
ASTREINTE · YAML · CAFÉ
Combo: +4. At 3am, you ARE the backlog.
PagerDuty is your religion. The gods call back.
Cult of Ergonomics
ERGO · DESK · MOUSE
Combo: +3. Your wrists will outlive the boss. Your tickets won't.
The standing desk is a weapon. Especially on the way down onto a toe.
Sysadmin 2004
THINKPAD · VIM · CAFÉ
Combo: +3. You lived through RAID 5. You have opinions. Many.
The ThinkPad survived three wars and one spilled coffee.
Streamer Setup
STREAM · RGB · AUDIO
Combo: +2. Twelve viewers: eleven bots and your mum.
The backlog has an overlay. The bugs get donations.
Prophet of AI
PROMPT · LINKEDIN · JARDIN CLOS
Combo: +2. You didn't write the code. You prompted it.
"I 10x'd my impact." — ChatGPT, about you.
Intern Kit
CANARD · MEME · MONSTER
Combo: +2. Zero salary, maximum stickers. The rubber duck has more seniority.
You get paid in "GitHub visibility".
Security Theatre
ZERO TRUST · I USE ARCH · ASTREINTE
Combo: +3. Zero Trust. Except the guest Wi-Fi called "password".
The password is Password1!. You own a YubiKey for the LinkedIn photo.
Gamer Between Jobs
RGB · MONSTER · STREAM
Combo: +2. You deploy between ranked games. CI is red. Your K/D is green.
Priorities. That's product management, honestly.
Distro Hopper
I USE ARCH · OS · MEME
Combo: +3. You reinstall Arch mid-debug. It's tactical.
The perfect distro exists. It's the next one. Always the next one.
Windows Survivor
WINDOWS · CAFÉ · MEME
Combo: +2. Update: 47%. Since yesterday. You debug anyway.
Cortana is dead. BitLocker is alive. You: we'll see.
GPU Furnace
GPU · PROMPT · MONSTER
Combo: +4. Your flat is a datacenter. The power company sends threats.
The 4090 heats the backlog. The bugs sweat. So do you.
Walled Garden
MACOS · JARDIN CLOS · OS
Combo: +2. It just works. Except the file. Except the dongle. Except you.
Lightning, USB-C, MagSafe. Three cables. Zero freedom. Maximum prestige.
A/B Lab
FLAG · MEME · METRICS
Combo: +3. 50/50. Sample size: 7. p-value: "smells right".
Variant B won. It was a bug. We shipped it anyway. Growth.
GitOps Priest
YAML · TERRAFORM · I USE ARCH
Combo: +3. If it isn't in Git, it doesn't exist. Neither does your weekend.
Argo: OutOfSync. You: OutOfOffice. Both are lying.
Observability Cosplay
METRICS · ASTREINTE · YAML
Combo: +3. Twelve dashboards. Zero answers. But the graphs are gorgeous.
Three pillars. Your incident: in the fourth, the one we didn't pay for.
Design Studio
8PX · JARDIN CLOS · NOTION
Combo: +3. Auto-layout. Auto-ego. The 8px grid is a constitution.
The file is called `final_v7_REAL.fig`. There is a v8. Nobody talks about it.
Pixel Police
8PX · ERGO · MEME
Combo: +2. It's 4px too far left. The bug. Your life. Everything.
You don't have opinions. You have a grid. The grid has opinions.
QA in Prod
QA EN PROD · FLAG · MEME
Combo: +3. Users are your testers. The flag is a suggestion.
Repro steps: 1. Open prod 2. Click 3. Cry. Severity: "we'll see Monday".
Exploratory Chaos
QA EN PROD · CAFÉ · CAM OFF
Combo: +2. No test plan. A vibe. A sofa. 14 bugs. Zero tickets.
Session: 3h. Notes: one blurry screenshot. Severity: "I felt something".
Calendar Tetris
1:1 · CALENDAR · SLIDES
Combo: +3. Seven meetings. No gaps. The debug is a 25-minute "hold".
Focus time: 12:00–12:25. Moved four times. By you.
One-on-One Machine
1:1 · LINKEDIN · CAFÉ
Combo: +2. Psychological safety. Then an OKR. Then "let's align". Then nothing.
How are you feeling? Great. Action items: 0. Duration: 47 min. Growth.
YAML Bard
CI · YAML · MEME
Combo: +3. 900 lines. Twelve are true. The rest is indented poetry.
You build it you run it. You indented it. You flee it. You run it anyway.
Backlog Theatre
1:1 · FLAG · SLIDES
Combo: +2. Priority P0. Like the other fourteen P0s. The roadmap is a Figma file.
We need to be more agile. Next slide: a Gantt. Next slide: the Gantt on fire.