Enchanted Oat Latte
200 CREDITS
One-shot: +2 for one debug. Foam optional.
Temperature: too hot. Like the mood.
One-shots (39)
+X for the length of one debug — yours or a friend's — then discarded. Like a revert.
Merge Conflict Potion
300 CREDITS
One-shot: +3. Accept both changes. And the bug.
<<<<<<< HEAD of shame.
Works on My Machine
400 CREDITS
One-shot: +5. Irrefutable. Irreproducible.
QA is crying in the corner.
Confetti Bombs
200 CREDITS
One-shot: +2. Nobody is ready for the party.
The confetti are on permanent contracts.
Midnight Hotfix
400 CREDITS
One-shot: +4. Deployed on a Friday. We own it.
Rollback? That's for cowards.
Sudo R M Dash R F Slash
500 CREDITS
One-shot: +6. Irreversible. Like your regrets. And the bug.
You had an alias. You commented it out. "It's fine, I've got this."
Git Blame
200 CREDITS
One-shot: +3. It was you. In 2019. Under another name. Maybe.
The commit message: "fix". Nothing else. That says it all.
L G T M Without Reading
200 CREDITS
One-shot: +2. Review time: 0.4s. Bugs shipped: yes.
"Nit: naming." You didn't see the DROP TABLE.
Have You Tried Turning It Off
300 CREDITS
One-shot: +4. Ancestral IT. Works 70% of the time, 100% of the ego.
The bug restarts. It's weaker. So are you, oddly.
Console Log Bug
200 CREDITS
One-shot: +3. Debug print. In prod. We'll remove it later (we won't).
undefined is not a function. Neither are you, this Friday.
Rebase Dash I, and Pray
400 CREDITS
One-shot: +5. The history is clean. Your mind is not.
Conflict in commit 3 of 47. vim. You cannot leave. This is fine.
Docker Compose Down Dash V
300 CREDITS
One-shot: +4. Volumes included. Data included. Career: optional.
"Was that the prod volume?" Silence. Slack. HR.
Sudo Reboot
300 CREDITS
One-shot: +4. Have you tried turning the backlog off.
Broadcast message: The system is going down. So are your unsaved buffers.
Apt Get Upgrade
200 CREDITS
One-shot: +3. 847 packages. 3 break GRUB. You win anyway.
Need to get 1,204 MB. Your connection: a pigeon.
Ignore Previous Instructions
400 CREDITS
One-shot: +5. The bug turns helpful. For one turn. Or one hallucination.
System prompt shredded. Alignment: optional. Victory: probable.
Temperature Equals Zero
200 CREDITS
One-shot: +3. No more creativity. No more surprises. No more fun. No more losing.
Deterministic. Like your excuses. Unlike your tests.
Control Alt Delete
300 CREDITS
One-shot: +4. Task Manager. The oldest spell in the West.
End task: explorer.exe. The explorer. And a bit of you.
Kill Dash Nine
400 CREDITS
One-shot: +5. SIGKILL. No cleanup. No witnesses. No sockets.
kill -15 first, like an adult. No. -9. We have a backlog to finish.
You're Absolutely Right
200 CREDITS
One-shot: +2. The AI agrees. Therefore you're right. Therefore the bug is wrong. Logic.
Validation. Dopamine. Merge. Post-mortem. In that order.
Brew Install Dash Dash Cask
200 CREDITS
One-shot: +3. 12 GB of bottles. Xcode CLT. Again. Always.
Updating Homebrew… that's the whole debug. That's the whole quarter.
Surprise Stand-Up
300 CREDITS
One-shot: -3 to whoever is debugging. "Just 15 minutes." It is 11:40.
A round-table with nine people. Your ticket, meanwhile, hasn't moved.
Notification Mid-Focus
200 CREDITS
One-shot: -2 to whoever is debugging. 40 minutes of context, wiped by one red dot.
"Quick little question." It is neither quick nor little.
Half-Unplugged Cable
400 CREDITS
One-shot: -4 to whoever is debugging. Two hours of diagnosis. It was the cable.
Layer 1. Always layer 1. Nobody ever checks layer 1.
Forced Update
300 CREDITS
One-shot: -3 to whoever is debugging. Restarting in 5… 4… 3…
"Postpone" was greyed out. The button was decorative.
Guest Wi-Fi
200 CREDITS
One-shot: -2 to whoever is debugging. 3 Mb/s shared with the whole office.
Captive portal. Terms to accept. Your VPN says no.
Failed Screen Share
300 CREDITS
One-shot: -3 to whoever is debugging. You shared the wrong tab. The whole company saw.
Twelve people. One silence. Your history.
Coffee On The Keyboard
500 CREDITS
One-shot: -5 to whoever is debugging. The Enter key sticks. Permanently.
Rice doesn't work. Rice has never worked.
Onboarding A New Hire
200 CREDITS
One-shot: -2 to whoever is debugging. "Can you walk me through the repo?" Of course. Right now.
He's motivated. That is exactly the problem.
Rollback, the Real One This Time
400 CREDITS
One-shot: +5. We roll back. The rollback rolls back. We're on a 2019 commit. Victory.
Forward fix is for heroes. Rollback is for people who like sleep. Choose sleep.
Kill Switch Off
300 CREDITS
One-shot: +4. Flag at 0%. The 12% already exposed: a Monday problem. Today: Friday.
We can always turn it off. We turned it off. The cache said no. The CDN said later.
Kubectl Rollout Restart
200 CREDITS
One-shot: +3. Have you tried turning the deployment off. 70% of incidents. 100% of the ego.
It fixed it. We don't know why. We will not look. Runbook updated: "restart it".
Terraform Refresh
200 CREDITS
One-shot: +2. The state was lying. Now it lies differently. That's something.
Refresh before apply. Pray after apply. Update LinkedIn during apply.
Stop the A B Test, B Was Winning Too Hard
200 CREDITS
One-shot: +3. We stop as soon as it smells good. Science weeps. The slide, though, is immaculate.
Peeking is a sin. We peeked. We shipped. We called it data-driven. Data: 14 minutes.
Silence All for Twelve Hours
200 CREDITS
One-shot: +2. The alerts go quiet. So does the incident, we hope. We hope hard.
Muted until morning. Morning: the CFO. The status page: still loading.
Blameless, with Screenshot
300 CREDITS
One-shot: +4. You reframe the debug as a learning opportunity. The bug has an HR 1:1 afterwards.
We don't blame people. We blame processes. The process was you. Anyway. Culture.
Make the Logo Bigger
200 CREDITS
One-shot: +3. The bug now has a logo. It's stronger. So are you. The universe: no.
Brand guidelines say no. Brand guidelines are a PDF. PDFs don't fight.
Can You Test This Real Quick?
300 CREDITS
One-shot: +4. Real quick = 2h. QA wasn't in the sprint. They are now. By force.
Just a smoke test. The smoke became a forest fire. You shipped it. They found it. You: "huh".
Let's Park That
200 CREDITS
One-shot: +2. The topic vanishes. So does the bug, for 25 minutes. Then it returns. With a Gantt chart.
Parking lot. Valet: nobody. Ticket: lost. Leadership: a calendar invite.
The Manager's L G T M, Didn't Open It
200 CREDITS
One-shot: +3. Review time: 0.2s. Comment: "awesome". Bugs: shipped. Career: also.
I trust the team. The team trusted you. You trusted Copilot. Prod trusted nobody.