Battery at One Percent
−1 GEAR · ANY TIME
The target loses one random piece of equipped gear (it shuts down).
The charger is in the other trousers. In another backlog.
Incidents (28)
It lands the moment you draw it, or you keep it to play on someone else. At the worst possible time, preferably.
Reply-All From Hell
−2 CARDS · ANY TIME
The target discards 2 cards from hand.
"Thanks!" × 47. Plus a cat picture.
Impostor Syndrome
−1 LVL · ANY TIME
The target loses 1 level (never below 1).
You don't belong here. Except you do.
Surprise Meeting
−ROLE · ANY TIME
The target discards their role. Back to "just a human".
Invite: now. Subject: sync. Duration: eternity.
Your Package Is at the Pickup Point
−1 GEAR · ANY TIME
The target can't equip new gear until their next turn. (They lose a piece of equipped gear right now.)
Closed. Open yesterday. Open tomorrow. Never today.
Permanent Airplane Mode
−PROFILE · ANY TIME
The target loses their profile. No more artisanal Wi-Fi.
You exist, but offline.
NPM Audit, Eight Hundred Forty-Seven Vulnerabilities
−1 LVL · ANY TIME
The target loses 1 level (never below 1). Left-pad strikes again.
Severity: critical. Fix: "wait for the maintainer who lives in a cabin".
Tabs Versus Spaces War
−2 CARDS · ANY TIME
The target discards 2 cards from hand. Religious schism.
The .editorconfig is a suggestion. Like your PRs.
Expired JetBrains License
−1 GEAR · ANY TIME
The target loses one random piece of equipped gear (IDE locked).
30-day trial. Since 2019. The popup won.
Staging Down
−ROLE · ANY TIME
The target loses their role. "Guess we test in prod then."
Staging was a founding myth.
Two-Factor Auth Lost in a Drawer
−PROFILE · ANY TIME
The target loses their profile. Offline, off-tribe, out of the game.
Backup codes: in an email. The email: behind the 2FA.
Stack Overflow Read-Only
−1 LVL · ANY TIME
The target loses 1 level. No more copy-paste. No more civilisation.
The elders still speak of "when you could ask questions".
Cookie Wall Dark Pattern
−1 GEAR · ANY TIME
The target loses a random piece of gear. "Accept all" was the only visible button.
Refusing: 14 clicks, a captcha, and your dignity.
Mandatory Restart
−1 GEAR · ANY TIME
The target loses a piece of equipped gear. Windows has "finished installing".
Save your work. What work. What save.
Disk Full, Other: Forty Gigabytes
−1 GEAR · ANY TIME
The target loses a random piece of gear. Purge "Other". Other = your goodies.
iCloud refuses. Local refuses. The universe refuses.
Out of Tokens
−2 CARDS · ANY TIME
The target discards 2 cards. Quota: exceeded. Creativity: same.
Upgrade to Plus. Plus has no plus left.
Oops, Kernel Null Pointer
−1 LVL · ANY TIME
The target loses 1 level. dmesg | tail says it's your fault.
Unable to handle kernel paging request at 0x0000. Like your PRs.
You Trusted the AI
−1 LVL · ANY TIME
The target loses 1 level. The library didn't exist. Neither did the code.
Confidence: 0.97. Truth: 0.03. Merge: done.
Deprecated Model
−ROLE · ANY TIME
The target loses their role. gpt-4-0314 has left the chat. So have you.
Migration guide: "use the new one". Which one. "Yes."
Friday Five P.M. Deploy
−1 GEAR · ANY TIME
The target loses a piece of gear. Hotfix Monday. If we survive. Culture: move fast. Bones: also.
Change freeze: a suggestion. Like your SLOs. Like your plans.
Someone Pushed Latest
−1 GEAR · ANY TIME
The target loses a piece of equipped gear. The image moved. So did your guarantees.
Pin by digest, they said. Latest is fine, they said. They have left the company.
Assigned to Bucket B
−2 CARDS · ANY TIME
The target discards 2 cards. Sticky assignment. Sticky misery. Variant B was the placebo. No: the poison.
Don't peek. They peeked. B was worse. They shipped B. Growth mindset.
Error Budget at Zero
−1 LVL · ANY TIME
The target loses 1 level. Deploy freeze. Career freeze, optional.
99.9% looks huge until you divide it by a month and a Friday.
You Forgot to Check DNS
−1 LVL · ANY TIME
The target loses 1 level. It was DNS. It's always DNS. Write it down. No.
flushdnscache. flush pride. flush the last 40 minutes of your life.
Terraform Force Unlock
−ROLE · ANY TIME
The target loses their role. The lock belonged to someone. That someone was you. Surprise.
State: unlocked. Career: also. Apply: concurrent. Prod: modern art.
Cannot Reproduce, on Your Machine
−2 CARDS · ANY TIME
The target discards 2 cards. The bug exists. Your evidence doesn't. QA has a screenshot. Blurry.
Please provide steps. You provided vibes. Ticket: waiting for author. Author: you.
Make the Logo Bigger, Again
−1 GEAR · ANY TIME
The target loses a piece of gear. The logo needs room. So do your goodies, apparently.
Brand wants ownership of the viewport. You want a career. Guess who wins.
Let's Circle Back
−1 LVL · ANY TIME
The target loses 1 level. We'll revisit. We never revisit. The level, though, does go backwards.
Parking lot. The parking lot is a black hole. Action item: TBD. TBD: never.